Prepared Obituary

 William Bradley Dunagan,  77,  passed away on May 1, 2030, in Armuchee, GA.

He is the son of the late George J. Dunagan and Ida Lou Waldrep Dunagan, born April 30, 1953, in Gainesville, GA. Preceded in his death his sister Sandra Dunagan Deal (Nathan). He is survived by his sister Brenda Dunagan Sims(Frank) and one brother Michael Dunagan. 

He enlisted in the United States Marine Corps shortly after graduating from high school in 1971 and served on active duty during the Vietnam War. He later received a Bachelor’s Degree in Business from Georgia State University in 1979.

Mr. Dunagan is survived by his wife Mary Grant Dunagan, daughter Leah Maeve Dunagan Hulsey (Britt), Lindsey Dunagan McDowell (Steven), Tyler Grant Dunagan (Amanda), ten grandchildren, and many nieces and nephews.

Mr Dunagan was a successful businessman and owner and partner in several business ventures.

He served on several Charitable boards including the Board of Trustees for the Teacher’s Retirement System of Georgia. He was a longtime member of the First Baptist Church of Gainesville and served as a Sunday School teacher, Deacon and Trustee. A member of the Anglers Mens Bible Class where he earned the nickname “Don Ho” for playing his ukulele and joke telling.

He helped lead  youth missions into Mexico and Central America. He had a heart for  service and missions and actively worked with different organizations in  Eastern Europe, after the fall of the Soviet Union, Africa and Haiti. He and his wife, Mary, together founded the Gainesville Care Center to minister to women in abusive situations and facing crisis’ pregnancy.

A Life well lived.

Interment in the Georgia Veteran National Cemetery in Canton Ga.

I Believe Death Is Harder Than Birth

 Reality hit me like a ton of bricks this week and I realized that my body, that has served me so well for 71 years is slowly dying and I’m afraid my mind is not far behind.  

I’m not fearful of death but concerned as to the hardship my passing may cause those who I leave behind. They will soon forget me and move on with their life, I expect.

It appears that death is harder than birth.

I look forward to the next world my eternal soul will experience.

May God always bless my family in this life.

HIS WIFE DISAPPEARED IN A KAYAKING ACCIDENT

 The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Anchorage man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers.

"We're sorry Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife," said one trooper...

"Tell me! Did you find her?" Wilkens shouted.

The troopers looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?"

Fearing the worst, an ashen Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news first."

The trooper said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in Kachemak Bay."

"Oh my God!" exclaimed Wilkens. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the good news?"

The trooper continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 twenty-five pound king crabs and 6 good-size Dungeness crabs clinging to her and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch."

Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news?"

The trooper said, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow."

Somewhere Over The Rainbow

 https://www.reverbnation.com/braddunagan/song/7772045-somewhere-over-the-rainbow

Sweet Home Chicago

 https://www.reverbnation.com/braddunagan/song/7772028-sweet-home-chicago

Kindhearted Woman

https://www.reverbnation.com/braddunagan/song/7894192-kindhearted-woman

Come into my kitchen

 https://www.reverbnation.com/braddunagan/song/7894255-come-on-in-my-kitchen

Crossroads

 https://www.reverbnation.com/braddunagan/song/7771859-crossroads

ALCOHOLIC

 A couple of months ago I checked into this hotel. There was a Bible beside the bed.

I opened it and there was a message. It said if you are an alcoholic and have a drinking problem call this number for help.

I called it. It was a Liquor Store!  😎

CAB DRIVER AND NUN

 A cab driver and a nun...

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.

He replies: “I have a question to ask, but I don’t want to offend you.”

She answers, “My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.”

“Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.”

She responds, “Well, let’s see what we can do about that…

1) You have to be single and

2) You must be Catholic.”

The cab driver is very excited and says, “Yes, I’m single and Catholic!”

“OK” the nun says. “Pull into the next alley.”

The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

“My dear child,” said the nun, “why are you crying?”

“Forgive me, but I’ve sinned. I lied and I must confess, I’m married and I’m Jewish.”

The nun says, “That’s OK. My name is Kevin and I’m going to a Halloween party!”

Old Woman Shoots Husband

 

An old woman tells her husband that if he walks across the kitchen floor after she mops again she's going to kill him.

The next time she mops the kitchen floor he does it again. He gets the kitchen floor dirty and tracks water into the living room. She does as promised. Without saying a word she goes to their bedroom, gets his pistol out of the closet, and shoots him dead in his recliner. 

Then she calls 911 and tells them "I told my husband that if he walks through the kitchen after I mopped then I would kill him. He didn't listen and I shot him."

Emergency dispatch immediately sends an ambulance for the husband and a squad car for the wife. The chief of police hears about the call shortly afterwards, thinks it's a rather strange story so he drives to the house. When he gets there his officers are still waiting outside.

He asks "Officers, why haven't you gone inside and arrested the woman?"

They reply "Sir we can't go in now. The kitchen floor is still wet."

Addiction To Viagra

 I was once addicted to Viagra.

It was the hardest time of my life.😎

Overdose From Viagra

 I just learned that a friend of mine just died from an overdose of Viagra. His wife took it really hard.

So sad.

They said at his funeral they couldn’t close the casket so they had to bury him upside down. So sad. 😎

BEER FOR THE HORSES, VIAGRA FOR THE MEN

 I’ve heard that some Nursing Homes have started giving their male clients a daily dose of Viagra at bedtime.

It has reduced the number of old men from rolling over and falling out of bed during the night injuring themselves. 😎

WORDS YOU DON’T WANT TO HEAR FROM YOUR DOCTOR.

Doctor: Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news? 

Me: Good news please 

Doctor: We’re naming a disease after you.

A HOMELESS MAN’S FUNERAL

As a bagpiper, I play many places. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family  or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Kentucky back country.

As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions.

I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.

I felt bad and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man.

And as I played 'Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.

As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years 

THREE LEGGED CHICKEN

A realtor who was out driving on a back road on his way to look at some property and suddenly noticed down beside him was a chicken keeping pace with him, and he was doing 60 miles an hour. And suddenly the chicken spurted out ahead of him. And it looked to him as if the chicken had three legs. And then it turned and went down a side road and into a barnyard. And the driver turned down that lane, drove into the barnyard. There was a farmer there and he asked him, 'Did you see a chicken go by here?' And the farmer says 'Yep.' 'Did it have three legs?' 'Yep. I raise them that way. I breed them.' ''

Then the realtor asks, '' 'You do? How come?' 'Well, I just love the drumstick and Maw always liked the drumstick and now Junior's come along and he likes it and we just got tired of fighting over it. So I've been breeding three-legged chickens.' '' The realtor then asks, '' 'Well how do they taste?' '' And the farmer replies, '' 'I don't know. I haven't been able to catch one yet.' ''

A city girl named Amy marries a farmer

 A city girl named Amy marries a Wisconsin farmer.

One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the farmer says to her,  "The artificial insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today, so I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above the cow's stall in the barn.  Please show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?"

The farmer leaves for the fields.  After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door.  Amy takes him down to the barn.  They walk along the row of cows and when Amy sees the nail, she tells him, 'This is the one right here.'

The man, assuming he is dealing with an airhead blond, asks, "Tell me lady, 'cause I'm dying to know.  How would you know this is the right cow to be bred?"

"That's simple," she said. "By the nail that's over its stall," she explains very confidently.

Laughing rudely at her, the man says, "And what, pray tell, is the nail for?"

Amy turns to walk away and says sweetly over her shoulder......

"I guess it's to hang your pants on."

HOW WERE PEOPLE MADE?

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

WIlli AIN’T NO SUNSHINE CoverHerbie Carnes singing this cover with the early beginnings of Riverstreet.Herbie was an awesome talent!

 

TWO CONSENTING ADULTS GO HOME TOGETHER

 After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man on the woman's nightstand by the bed.

He begins to worry. 

'Is this your husband?' he nervously asks. 

'No, silly,' she replies, snuggling up to him. 

'Your boyfriend, then?' he continues. 

'No, not at all,' she says, nibbling away at his ear. 

'Is it your dad or your brother?' 

he inquires, hoping to be reassured. 

'No, no, no! You are so hot when you're jealous!' she answers. 

'Well, who in the hell is he, then?' he demands. 

She whispers in his ear, ‘that's me before the surgery.'

A FARMER DROVE OVER TO HIS NEIGHBOR’S HOUSE

 A farmer drove over to his neighbor’s house and knocked on the door...

A boy, about 9, opened the door. “Is your mom or dad home?” The farmer asked the boy.

“No, they went in to town.” The boy replied

“Well, how about your brother Howard?” The farmer asked

“No, he went with mom and dad.” The boy said

The farmer stood there for a minute shifting from one foot to another and mumbling when the boy says

“I know where the tools are if you need to borrow one or I could give my dad a message for you.”

“Well,” The farmer said uncomfortably “I wanted to talk to your dad about your brother Howard getting my daughter pregnant.”

The boy thought for a moment then said

“You’ll have to talk to my dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bulls and $150 for the pigs, but I have no idea how much he charges for Howard.”

BLUES JAM - LONGSTREET

 

EVERY DAY I HAVE THE BLUES

 

BORN DOWN IN GEORGIA

 

Longstreet Station Sweet Home Chicago

 

AMERICAN JUSTICE

 

A LIBERAL SOCIALIST DEMOCRAT

 A Liberal Socialist Democrat wakes up in the Hospital. He is real groggy coming out of the anesthesia and couldn’t remember how he got there.

His doctor came in and assured him he was going to be okay and explained that he had an event and we had to perform emergency surgery. The man complained, “Why does my ass hurt like hell?”

We had to perform emergency surgery to remove your cranial thru your rectum. Because of the insane way you have been voting and your continued support of a demented Joe Biden and Socialism we had to remove your head from way up your ass to hopefully save you and the country.

CLEAN AS COLDWATER CAN GET THEM

 A man went to visit his 90 year old grandfather and while eating the breakfast of eggs and bacon prepared for him, he noticed a film-like substance on his plate. So he says, "Grandfather, are these plates clean?" His grandfather replies, "Those plates are as clean as cold water can get them.”That afternoon, while eating t

Well, later that day, they were on their way out to get dinner. As he was leaving the house, grandfather's dog who was lying on the floor started to growl and would not let him pass. "Grandfather, your dog won't let me out." Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching, his grandfather shouted, "Coldwater, get out of the way!"

SCISSORS, I WIN

 The police just pulled me over, and the officer came up to my window and said “papers?”

I said “scissors, I win!” and drove off. He’s been chasing me for 45 minutes now, I think he wants a rematch.